I want to take something  like medical billing that will be useful when I get a job. I had thought about medical assisting or being a nurse  but I hate dealing with blood so thats out of the question. I am going to be giving it more thought before I enroll in school but its definately a possibility.

After I searched and searched online I was finally able to find the person and leave a message. He responded right away and we were able to catch up where we left off. I am so happy to be able to have access to the internet to find people and read about all kinds of things. I cant remember what life was like before I had internet. I love having computer and being able to go online whenever I want to.

I dont know what it is that I am doing wrong. I often wonder if I need to go and get a personal trainer at the gym to teach me how to lose more than the measly 2 pounds that I have been losing. Its been 2 months and all I have lost are 6 pounds. I was expecting to at lest have lost 10 to 15 pounds by now but that is not the case.

I have alot of weight to lose and I get easily discouraged and if I am not seeing results I want to quit. I have been struggling with myself so much and stopping myself from giving up. I wish I could see more results showing that my hard efforts are paying off.

I see so many of my friends losing weight effortlessy and here I am busting my butt and eating right and walking and excersicing and I hardly see any difference. I wish I could see a big difference by now

I am trying to cut down on my meat consumption. I am going to try and see if I can learn to count my calories and stick to eating smaller portions than what I am doing now. I always have to tell myself that this is a lifestyle change and not just a diet.

I have given thought to going back to school but I always worry about who will watch my kids. If the kids were older I woukd be able to do it but I worry alot about who will take care of them if I were to go to school or get a job. I ask myself often if thats just an excuse or is that really the case of why I cant do anything. I guess my biggest thing is that I want someone I can trust to watch my kids. I have read and heard too many awful things about daycare facilities that if I dont have to leave my kids in one I wont. I can always see If I can find some online courses that are legit and see if I can work from home

My hubby says he will also help me lose weight and I am glad that he is willing to work out with me. I am one of those people who needs someone to work out with or to encourage me when I want to not workout or eat whatever I want. I am currently between 214 and 213. I keep going back and fourth. The good thing is that I now fit a size 18 and some size 16 clothes and that makes me very excited!! I want to ideally be a size 8 or 10 but I have a long way to go before I can get there.

The kids want a Ps3 but I dotn know about buying one just yet. I will have to start saving money now if I expect to buy them one for christmas. I would love to be able to give my kids all they want but sometimes we just cant afford it. I hope to be able to start saving money and putting it into a savings account that we can touch. I want to be able to take vacations with my kids and buy them things I didnt get growing up.

I was reading the newspaper and sometimes it makes me feel so sad when I read about people killing other people. I really dont think these people realize how awful it is for the person doing the funeral planning or the burial arrangements. A mother should never have to bury her child. I know its far fetched but if I could fix the world I would. Even if its a little difference in the world I would do it. I want my children to have a beautiful place t grow up in not all the ugly things that are happening right now.

Like Micheal jackson once said ” heal the world make it a better place for you and for me and for the entire human race” I dream of one day waking it up and healing all the wrongs that are going on right now.

I have been trying to help him get life insurance but when you are already sick the life insurance rate is sky high and some places dont even want to give trhen to you. I know he often worries about his kids but I think they will be fine. His children are big now and can take care of themselves.

I will take lots of pictures and make sure that I send them to my uncle and at least he can feel he is there through the pictures. I have yet to pack and I will get to that very soon. I am still trying to get the house cleaned up and ready for our guests. I am beyond excited for my husband he is the first one to go to college and graduate. I hope my kids follow dads footsteps and it will be them graduating from high school and then college.

I have read that some people couldnt love a child that wasnt theirs to me I think that a child you adopt is loved even more because the choice wasnt from the body it was from the heart. I dont know why reading about adoption hit a nerve but I really think I would adopt. If i have the means and the space why not love soemone who needs it. I applaud all the women who have adopted and even the mothers who have given their kids up for adoption. Giving a kid up for adoption is not an easy choice to make.

I dont know why I feel so sensitive on the subject but I do. It might be because I am hormonal right now I just feel so sensitive when it comes to adoption. If I ever have enough money, I sure as heck have the unconditional love to give a child and if the universe wants to bless us with a child so be it. I would love to be the mother in the show who had so many children she didnt know what to do.